Nick Marketos Psychotherapist
First they must learn
to suffer,
After to love,
after leaving,
And finally, to walk
without any thought
lyrics of Homero Exposito * from tango ‘’Naranjo en flor’’
Passion
Ferrer says: " Tango is a lifestyle, how
to feel and conceive the existence and the world passionately." This is a
passion that is contagious and becomes a pandemic and a light that moves the
shadows of life, is a gesture that invites to the banquet of life. "
This is a way of
living that let the life flow, not restrained by control, scheduling,
scenography or illusions. That means that the process of life takes over the
whole being, and feelings are deep and intense about everything. Life is
something which goes, as Lacan says, à la derive (1966). Life goes down the river, from time to time
touching a bank, staying for a while here and there, without understanding
anything.
The power of the
passion is capable of driving us toward destructive and/or creative activity.
The relation with the
object (person or ideal) is erotic and love is selfless and unconditional. When
the passionate bond passes from the register of pleasure in the register of
need, the subject submits to the power of the other, and therefore transfers to
her/him the potential to cause greatest pain. This submission causes hatred and
destructive impulse. In this area the death drive operates. They can kill or
die "for love», they can kill or die for the lack of an addictive object.
When the need for
mental and social survival is great -due to psychological or social
vulnerability- the subject is involved in passionate attachments, of extreme
dependence and exploitation. The necessity of attachment entails the
inevitability of alienation because one’s desire to persist on his own being
requires submitting to a world of others that is fundamentally alien. These
attachments are the linchpin of the psychic life of power (Butler, 1993).
The issue of love and
death abounds in the lyrics of tangos, like Mario Soto lyrics of tango
"Pasional" and music by Jorge Caldara, played by the Pugliese
orchestra:
Te quiero siempre así
... estás clavada en mí
como una daga en la
carne.
Y ardiente y pasional
... temblando de ansiedad
quiero en tus brazos
morir.
I love you always this
way… you are stuck to me
like a dagger in the
flesh.
And ardent and
passionate … trembling with anxiety
I want to die in your
arms.
A recurring motif of
passionate attachment in tango lyrics is ‘’femme fatale’’. The ‘’femme fatale’’ is a dimension of
passion incarnated in a kind of woman who is capable of driving man to the
worst. The male’s fantasy of the “femme
fatale” contemplates the danger of self-destruction in love. He often knowingly submits himself to her for
it is precisely her dangerous sexuality that he desires (Bronfen E.,
2004).
The fatale is
simultaneously an archetypal object of desire, while also using her status as a
tool or as a weapon in the sex-war, is claiming agency and committing the
cardinal sins of active disobedience and selfish desire: wanting and getting
things for herself (Place, 1998).
The tango ‘’Mi noche
triste’’, of Pascual Contursi, marks the beginning of one of the typical love
dramas in tango: ‘’The abandoned man’’.
"Percanta que me
amuraste
en lo mejor de mi vida
dejándome el alma
herida
Espinas y en el
corazon,
sabiendo que te
queria,
que vos eras mi
Alegría
y mi sueño Abrasador
para Mí ya no hay
Consuelo
y por eso me encurdelo
pa' olvidarme de tu
amor ".
...
"Y si la vieras
catrera
como se pone Cabrera
Cuando no nos a los
dos ».
Woman, you dumped me
at the prime of my
life
leaving my soul
wounded
and dullness in my
heart,
knowing that I loved
you,
that you were my joy
and my burning
dream...
There is no solace for
me,
that is why I’m
getting drunk
to forget about you
love.
And if could see the
bed
how upsets it gets
when it does not see
us both.
Another motif of
passionate attachment is the "complex of demonic lover",
characterized by an attempt to transcend the self in a state of surrender,
which dramatically fails. This results in submission by women to male
possession, as the woman is forced to give up her power rather than yield to
it. Sadomasochism results, instead of surrender and sensual and erotic modes of
merger. Possession is followed by abuse and abandonment by the male “other”
onto whom the woman has projected all her expectations. Then her fantasy
masculine god muse, turns into the negative side of the father image,
psychically imposed on the inner child self.
When the desired surrender to a powerful mentor results in submission to
a demon lover, the existence of these women fades both psychically and physically (Kavaler S.,
2000).
Tango ‘’Madame
Ivonne’’ of Enrique Cadicamo written in 1933 tells the story of a young
Parisian girl ("pebeta") from the neighborhood of Montmartre, with
cheerful mood and beauty, whom all men love, until succumbing to the charm of a
virile Argentinean, whom follows in Buenos Aires. At the end it shows us that ten years later,
she is still in Buenos Aires and has changed from mademoiselle Ivonne in
«Madame» (a woman who runs a brothel) and has lost everything: beauty, youth, joy.
Even the man who brought her to Buenos Aires.
Madame Ivonne,
la Cruz del Sur fue
como el sino,
Madame Ivonne,
fue como el sino de tu
suerte ...
Alondra gris,
tu dolor me conmueve,
tu pena es de nieve
...
Madame Ivonne ...
Han pasado diez años
que zarpó de Francia,
Mamuasel Ivonne hoy
solo es Madam ...
La que va a ver que
todo quedó en la distancia
con ojos muy tristes
bebe su champán.
Ya no es la papusa del
Barrio Latino,
ya no es la mistonga
florcita de lis,
ya nada le queda ...
Ni aquel argentine
que entre tango y mate
la alzó de París
…Madame Ivonne,
the Southern Cross was
like the destiny,
Madame Ivonne,
was as the destiny of
your luck …
Skylark gray
Your pain moves me,
Your sorrow is of snow
…
Madame Ivonne …
It has been ten years
since she sailed from France,
Mamuasel Ivonne today
is only Madam …
Who sees everything
long way away at a distance
with very sad eyes she
drinks her champagne.
She is no longer the
pretty thing of the Latin Quarter,
she no longer is the
humble lily flower,
She has nothing is
left … Nor even that Argentine man
who between tango and
green tea lifted her from Paris.
Eroticism
It is argued that
tango is the dance of sexuality, thereby, initially was prohibited, and
censored. The couple dance tango in
close embrace and frontal positioning of the bodies, so that to need the
maximum possible contact of the bodies.
The bodies being in coordination and in circulation of sensory currents
are engaged in an energetic fusion. This “merger bliss” (Hawkes, 2003) is
described by some as the elusive and transcendent "moment of tango"
(Thomas & Sawyer, 2005). Those who have experienced this moment return to
the dance in a continuous pursuit to re-experience it. This situation is what
gives the tango its
"addictive" quality.
Laurie Hawkes (2003),
a French therapist who organizes psychotherapeutic workshops by the means of
the tango says: "The excitement and erotic experience means aliveness and
excitement brought on by stimulating contact with otherness (another person,
the other sex, another’s thoughts, feelings, reactions, etc.). In dancing there
can be a whole range of erotic feelings and experiences.
Many women describe an
euphoric feeling, “like being in love,” after a few good dances during which
both partners are well attuned to each other. Fewer men have shared this sense
with me, although they too seem to experience a kind of magic when dancing with
an attuned partner. However, this contact is seldom actually sexual. Most
dancers are more concerned with leading/following well, performing their steps
accurately, and the joy of managing well and really flowing together than with
seducing people
As they become more
confident, they discover the excitement of working/dancing/moving with another,
of reaching a deeper level of understanding the other at a subsymbolic level.
This excitement can then revitalize other aspects of their lives. The eroticism
of one’s own body—its aliveness, sensing, moving, experiencing the pleasure of
movement, feeling competent and attuned with a partner, exchanging energy,
feeling a partner’s energy responding to one’s own—all this can awaken sexual
feelings, although that does not necessarily occur”.
Some
liken dancing tango to practicing Zen meditation. Others view tango as a tantric practice,
that is, a spiritual practice that acknowledges the body and its desires. Brian
Dunn and Deborah Sclar run "Tantric Tango" workshops in Colorado
(Polo 2010). Johanna Siegmann (2000),
author of “The Tao of Tango”, connected the tango to the Chinese philosophy of
Tao. Massimo Habib, a tango therapist in Italy, described his approach to
working with male and female polarities in his workshops. He attempts to
“rebalance with special exercises the male and female parts of each person so
they can experience both parts. (Polo,
2010).
The desire
Desire is not really
for an object. It can not be said to be about something. Or rather, to the
extent that is of something, it is also necessarily about something else. The
needs and requirements can be met, but the desire cannot, and the substitution
is the most reliable rule. The process of discovering what we might call
"the truth" of our own desire, includes exploration of substitutes,
as defined in the history of the subject. The chain of replacements will always
move on the direction of childhood and, of course, in encounter with mother. The
first desires were unexpressed, our first object unknown, and each
“rediscovery” of the object of desire in our lifetime will never be completely
separate from the error (Perelberg, 2012).
Irigaray writes
"what women desire is precisely nothing, and at the same time
everything. Woman’s desire involves a
different economy, one that undermines the goal-object of a desire, diffuses
the linearity toward a single pleasure, and disconcerts fidelity to a single
discourse…»
De Beauvoir considers
that for woman desire is linked with mysticism. Satisfaction resembles the
experience of the mystics who say that they have experienced it, but they know
nothing about it (De Beauvoir, 1949).
Embrace
The adventure of
dancing tango begins with the hug, the original and special moment when the man
meets the woman to dance. Much of the dancing is performed in a closed embrace
where the upper torsos are, so close to each other that the rhythms of one’s
heart and breathe are easily discernible. This frame mode bestows upon the
emotion the right to guide the dancers’ steps.
Dancing tango is an emotional process. Juan Carlos Copes, one of the
most well-known tango dancers in the world, summed this relation when he said,
“Sometimes there is confusion that the tango is the steps. No. Tango is the
feeling. It is one heart and four legs” (Santiago & Groisman, 1993).
Intimacy
By dancing tango in a
way that is repeated, foreseeable, and reassuring, we have a possibility of
becoming close (more or less close, according to our choice) and the certainty
of separating thereafter as well as the possibility of connecting again. Dancing is an enactment of what happens in
intimate relationships: a game of keeping and violating personal boundaries; a
simulation of the process of dependence - conflict - and mutual
interdependence. The partners are based on their own axis, and sometimes they
invade in each other's space, when a partner is doing a “sacada”, or when the
woman relies on the man's balance at “volcada”.
The physical boundaries
of tango allow for a healthy exploration of intimacy issues.
Contradictory desires
mark the intimacy of daily life: people want to be vulnerable and om¬nipotent,
caring and aggressive, predictable and mysterious (Berlant, 2000). People often
are afraid of intimacy, because, it might arouse fear that someone could be
absorbed by the other, and could lose self, especially when the core of ego is
not firm enough. Such a situation activates the circular sequence of
approaching-conflict-distancing-rapprochement.
Trust
The couple cannot
dance tango without mutual trust. Trust is involved, at any situation where
vulnerable parts of self are to be exposed. We expect that the other will be
confident enough so as not to get advantage of our vulnerability to control or
blackmail us and will not betray us. Trust is not a distinction that anyone can
award. It is a dynamic process in relationship, and evolves as much one trusts
one’s own capabilities to handle his own vulnerabilities and thus to become
risqué in exposure. Trust requires a degree of empathy because selfish motives
hamper the growth of the relationship and causes it to stagnate.
Basic trust (Erikson
E., 1959) is established in early years of life. The infant depends on others
to get needs met. If this is
accomplished the child develops a sense of trust which carries on. If the trust
crisis is not resolved, then the individual may carry a sense of mistrust and
fear into adult life relationships. In that case, the individual attempts to
master or manipulate the human environment perceived as essential for her/his
survival.
Pain and nostalgia
Since the beginning
Tango is nostalgic. It refers to a past that was ideal. The exile is a central
topic, around which revolve other issues’ and it is an existential exile. Man
destabilized himself, knots that pain of existence in a celebration that is
always intimate. Depth of emotion is essential, so that there is a saying that
“you must have suffered in life to dance tango” (Jaffe, 2007).
Loss is expressed and
dealt in tango. This is the loss of romantic dreams, for freedom, strength and
safety. All our experiences of loss are bearing in mind the original
relationship with the primordial mother. We all carry inside us the sign of our
first relationship with the world through the universal mother. Distancing from
her is a reality inextricably linked to all human nostalgia, religion and faith
in political utopias. When, as adults, we long for what has been lost, we
mentally refer to something unknown and pre- symbolizated. (Stets J. E. &
Burke P.J.)
The famous tango
VOLVER of Alfredo Le Pera,,, states:
"Siempre se
vuelve al primer amor"
always turns back to
first love
In Cátulo Castillo and Sebastian Piana's, tango red ink (1941), nostalgia for the immigrant's distant homeland is beautifully expressed
:
Y
aquel buzón carmín.
Y
aquel fondín
donde lloraba el tano
su rubio amor lejano
que
mojaba con bon vin.
Y
And that mail box
carmine,
and that tavern
where an Italian cried
a blond distant love
washing it with
with cheap wine.
In this
tango, as in many others, the immigrant expresses with clarity his nostalgia and grief, evoking both the distant blond, and at the same time, his childhood and cultural space, where he passed the first years of his life. This tango links longing
for the distant homeland with the lost years of childhood and asks:
¿Pónde estará mi arrabal?
¿Quién se robó mi niñez?
¿En
qué rincón, luna mía, volcás,
como entonces,
tu clara alegría?
Where might my suburb be?...
Who stole my childhood...?
In which corner, my moon,
you empty out, like then,
your clear happiness?
Along with hopeful expectations that often lead to
migration converge feelings of pain and longing for the homeland and lost
childhood. From a psychoanalytic point of view we can understand that when
mourning for all losses, becomes intolerable, paranoid schizoid mechanisms supervene that deny loss and idealize the lost (Dimov J. Et al,
2004).
The mechanism of idealization denies the distant
homeland is also a depriving mother who expelled his child. In this sense,
migration is a traumatic experience that is constantly repeated in various
contexts, which can be understood in its reference to the unconscious.
Homeland which expels the migrant and women who abandons (amura) are the same phenomenon, as well the migration from the countryside to the
city and from the suburbs to downtown. Everyone who has
felt dismissed odd and useless is identifying himself with this drama.
The woman in tango mythology
In mythology of tango
inhabit the archetypes of woman muse, and woman Porteña. La Rubia Mireya is a
fabulous woman invented in lyrics of songs and in the imagination of tangueros,
and represents the muse of her time. Julián Centeya (1963) says about her
"Maybe the blond Mireya never existed. Possibly her tall, slim and
aristocratic figure never danced the slow, undulating rhythm of tango. But...!
Tango - invented her in the moisture a song. And, we are the generation that
accepted her this way, our unlimited imagination brought her to us to hold her
through a human pain, and make her the lady of tango of that period as
something like a legend. "
Poets have also
created a kind of Porteña woman. In Pascual Contursi tango ‘’Mi noche triste’’,
both elements of the porteña woman are concentrated masterfully (Vázquez M.,
1999). As mother and as
mistress:
"Cuando Voy a mi
cotorro
y lo veo desarreglado,
todo triste abandonado
me dan ganas de llorar
"
"Siempre Traigo
bizcochitos
pa'tomar con matecito
como Cuando Estabas
vos "
"Ya no hay en el
Bulin
aquellos frasquitos
Lindos
adornados con moñitos
.
When I return to my
room
I find it all messed
up,
very sad, abandoned,
I feel like crying,
I always bring cookies
to accompany the mate
like if you were still
here
There are no longer in
the room
those pretty little
bottles
decorated with
ribbons,
In these verses man
loses a maternal woman who reveals a kind of love full of tenderness, while
passionate love for the woman - mistress conquers him, thus he says :
"Percanta que me
amuraste
en lo mejor de mi vida
dejándome el alma
herida
Espinas y en el
corazón,
sabiendo que te
queria,
que vos eras mi
Alegría
y mi sueño Abrasador
para Mí ya no hay
Consuelo
y por eso me encurdelo
pa' olvidarme de tu
amor ".
...
"Y si la vieras
la catrera
como se pone Cabrera
Cuando no nos ve a los
dos».
Woman, you dumped me
at the prime of my
life
leaving my soul
wounded
and dullness in my
heart,
knowing that I loved
you,
that you were my joy
and my burning
dream...
There is no solace for
me,
that is why I’m
getting drunk
to forget about you
love.
And if could see the
bed
how upsets it gets
when it does not see
us both.
In the lyrics early
tangos abound “The astray girls”. These girls are trying to get rid of a poor
social environment and find prostitution the only way out. Inequities in social
class condemn poor girls from demoralized families to using sex as a means to
gain excitement and luxury. The tangos «Flor de Fango», «Margot», «Zorro Gris», «El Motivo», «Mano a
Mano», «Ivette», «Milonguita», are clear examples.
Contursi lyrics of
«Flor de Fango» (flower of mud) and music by Gentile, show the decision of a
teenage girl who in order to do what she liked, she must necessarily “lose her
virtue”. Carlos Gardel has sung this tango at 1919, and later Charlo with the
orchestra of Francisco Canaro.
"Justo a los
Catorce abriles
Te entregaste a la
Farra,
Las delicias del
Gotan,
Te gustaban Las
alhajas,
Los vestidos a la moda
Y Las farras de
champán.
Fourteen midwives
young girl
Delivered at night
And tango whims
I liked the cosmetics
,
The dresses and Lucy
Champagne late nights
Tango Milonguita -a
name for young prostitutes- with lyrics by Samuel Linnig refers to a key person
in the history of tango: the girl of the neighborhood who is fascinated by the
cabarets
"¡Estercita!, Hoy
te llaman Milonguita,
Flor de lujo y de
placer,
flor de noche y
cabaret.
¡Milonguita! Los
hombres te han hecho mal
Y hoy darías toda tu
alma
Por vestirte de
percal.
Little Ester!
Today they call you
Milonguita,
Flower of luxury and
pleasure,
flower of night and
cabaret.
Milonguita
Men have hurt you
and today you would
give up your whole soul
to dress in percale.
Tango lyrics have a
deep symbolic charging and above all on the theme of the mother. In the first
decades of the twentieth century Tango poetry oscillates between incomplete and
frustrating love relationships and the repetitive theme of the “mother”. Author Gustavo Cirigliano (1988) assumes that
the delinquent woman of Tango is Argentina (the country of dreams and
promises), the woman who cheats, betrays, while the mother symbolizes the
European country the migrant left, to pursue a chimera.
When Contursi raises
the issue of abandonment in Mi noche triste (1917), he also raises a broader
question about the search for the unconditional love, the love of a woman who
never betrays, always wants the best and forgives in all cases: this is mother.
Payador José Betinoti,
composed two years before his death,at 1915, the vals ballad «Pobre mi madre
querida» which many singers interpreted. Alberto Castillo’s interpretation at 1949,
was thrilling
Pobre mi madre
querida,
qué de disgustos le
daba!
¡Cuántas veces,
escondida,
llorando lo más
sentida,
en un rincón la
encontraba!
Que yo mismo al
contemplarla,
el llanto no reprimía.
Si es la madre en este
mundo
la única que nos
perdona;
con sentimiento
profundo,
sale amor y no
abandona
My poor beloved mother
,How many sorrows I
gave her !
How often poor ,
From soul to cry
I found her in a
corner!
Myself to see ,
Not holding of her
heartbreak.
mother in this world
is the only one who
forgives ;
with deep feeling ,
love and not leaving .
Feminism and tango
The position of women
in the universe of tango stems from the social positioning of women in
Argentina under the particular historical periods. Initially tango was
connected with the margins and the brothels and there was the Taita (lunfardo
word means bully) with his imperturbable
security and sensuality, who was dragging the woman according to his pace, and
imposing direct contact with his body strength, forcing her to be "carried
as sleepy." ( Gustavo Hurtado 1994)
Evolutionary as tango
was integrated in the dominant social values, it seemed to adopt a somewhat
ethereal vision of femininity. The masculine position was taking solace in the
fantasies of the romance, the courtly love, the faith vows, all functioned to
support the insistence of the dominant patriarchal discourse in the social
scene.
After all the
deployment of virility, man is alone and defeated, kneels, prays and
cries. Tango lyrics reproduce the story
of “Amurado” (Lunfardo term, meaning the man, who is abandoned by his love
object). In homonym tango “Amurado”
by lyrics of Jose de Grandis and music of Pedro Maffia and Pedro Laurenz, man
loses the object of his love, and confronts his illusions.
Una tarde más tristona
que la pena que me aqueja,
arreglo su bagayito y
amurado me dejo.
No le dije una
palabra, ni un reproche, ni una queja,
la mire que se alejaba
y pense… Todo acabo!
O sera porque me
cruzan
tan fuleros berretines
de andar por los
cafétines
a buscar felicidad…
Cuantas noches voy
vagando, angustiado, silencioso,
recordando mi pasado
con mi amiga la ilusion;
One afternoon, more
melancholic that the grief that afflicts me,
she packed her things
and she left me abandoned.
I didn’t say to her a
single word, not a reproach, not even a grudge,
I saw her going away
and I thought… it’s all over!
Or it could be because
I get
such pitiful illusions
of walking into small
cafes
in search of
happiness…
How many nights I’m
wandering, anguished, silent,
remembering my past
with my friend the illusion;
Today, gender roles
have changed to such a degree that it is certainly not only women who can be
considered to be in the feminine position with respect to Other jouissance. As
women have gained more access to phallic power, both women and men are also
increasingly subject to a profound social alienation. After the achievements in
the field of equal rights, feminism today proclaims promulgates the radical
alterity of the female.
Μany women with masculine
energy traits—independent, outgoing, and aggressive, resist the idea of being a
follower, a phrase that felt synonymous with weakness. Other love the “abandon”
they experience while dancing tango, which provides a chance for women leading
powerful professional lives, to surrender and explore another side of their
femininity. The male and female
archetypes, which Carl Jung called anima and animus, coexist in each of us. The
key to balance, both in the dance and in life, is for these features to work
symbiotically.
Susan Kavaler-Adler,
an American psychoanalyst differentiates surrender from submission. She
suggests that in tango there is surrender to the senses to music and not
submission to the man. The woman (follower) can never surrender to the soul of
the dance and its music unless she can surrender to herself. To allow this the
leader (usually male), he too must surrender, to himself, to the music, and to
his partner. If the leader controls the woman she can only submit or rebel and
can never surrender. Tango is about mutual
surrender. (Kavaler-Adler S.,2000).
the gaze
Acaricia mi ensueño
el suave murmullo de
tu suspirar,
¡como ríe la vida
si tus ojos negros me
quieren mirar!
Y si es mío el amparo
de tu risa leve que es
como un cantar,
ella aquieta mi
herida,
¡todo, todo se
olvida..!
It caresses my dream
the smooth murmur of
your sighing.
How life laughs
if your black eyes
want to look at me.
And if it is mine the
shelter
of your slight
laughter
that is like singing,
it calms my wound,
everything is
forgotten.
El día que me quieras
( Canción 1935)
Music: Carlos
Gardel, Lyrics: Alfredo Le Pera
Traditionally, the
cabeceo (eye contact and head nod agreement) is used to ask a partner to dance.
The ladies sit along the perimeter of the dance floor and try to catch the eye
of the gent they wish to dance with, hoping to get that special nod of the head
that says, "Want to dance?”
With the visual
mediation intersect the ego that looks with the ego that is the spectacle. The image is the site where we initially
meet the other, therefore is the area of the misunderstandings where the
obsessive posits himself as invisible spectator in the gallery, the hysterical
adheres to the scene of the theater, without hesitation, and the narcissist
demands to see the idealized inner image of self - as he/she wants to be (ideal
ego) - seen by the other. We seek for
the mirroring of self in the others gaze, believing that there could be finally
an answer to the question, “Who am I?” There is no answer to this question -
there is no truth that can be given by an agency outside of the subject
(Perelberg, 2012).
The rejection
We cannot ultimately
control what the other sees. This is so because the other’s perception of us is
embedded in the shifting matrix of his own unconscious feelings, memories,
fantasies; it is filtered through projective mechanisms that make us desirable,
“bad” or invisible to the other (Silverman 1996).
The fulfillment of
desire depends on the other, thus the subject in order to meet his desire, must
submit his request to the other (to go through the signifiers of the
other). Unavailability constitutes the
frustration that resonates with early experiences of deprivation, and leads to
foreclosure of expressing feelings and resentment; a confirmation that the
desire always meets indifference. The consolidation of the conviction that the
other is always depriving leads to projective identification. We evoke the idea to the other to reject us.
Sensitivity to
rejection reflects the consequences of the failure of ego to fulfill the
requirements of the ego ideal*. The subject perceives rejection, as punishment
for sexual and aggressive desires, and feels aggression toward the person
considered the source of this weakening. Ultimately anger is directed towards
the self (Brenner, 1975)
Epilogue
Dancers whether
leading or following, are equally dependent on each other. In this sense, tango
can remind us of the inherent reversibility of subject-object relations in
human interaction: each one is simultaneously active subject and object,
subjected to the power conferred by the position of the other. The interdependent nature of tango requires
that the partners are integrated within themselves or else the dance
partnership will suffer. This speaks to the model of every healthy partnership,
whereby intimacy and connection are actually increased if each partner is
differentiated and has a grounded sense of self. In tango this is physically demonstrated by
the requirement that each partner stay balanced on his or her own axis, while
creating an additional axis with their partner in order to form the connection.
The core of what
humans strive for is connection and intimacy.
Tango contains symbolisms and condensations of mental life and the tango
community can benefit of psychological components.
Footnote
*Freud uses three
terms for the vector that urges the subject to act morally
ego- ideal (idealich)
the idealized self-image of the subject (how I want to be, how I like to be
seen by others)
ideal-ego (Ich-ideal)
is the vector whose gaze I try to impress with the image of my ego, the Other
who supervises and urges me to do my best, the ideal that I try to follow and
to realize
-the superego
(Uber-ich) The body with the Ich-ideal, the sadistic, vengeful dimension
(Freud, 1914a)
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